It's All Over But The Crying
by eightpasttwodoctorwho
Summary: It's Amy's wedding, and The Doctor puts on his best fake smile and tries to pretend his two hearts aren't breaking, but she suspects that something is wrong..
1. Chapter 1

The crisp, dark air was a welcome relief from the hot dancefloor, and The Doctor loosened the bowtie that constricted his sweaty neck, leaning against the railing and looking out beyond in the garden. It was the night of Amy and Rory's wedding, and while the party was raging inside, outside the breeze shook the leaves and the moonlight shone down on the time lord's wide shoulders.  
>He sighed, reaching up to run his fingers through his untidy hair. He knew he should be happy for them, and he was, just.. he wasn't.<br>Amy was happy, twirling around in her white dress and tiara. Rory was even happier, ever present at her side with his cautious smile and dewy eyes. But something wasn't right, there was something he had missed, and it was important.  
>He'd been trying to push the nagging thought from his mind for a while now, but on this event it seemed to be louder than ever, making it difficult to pretend he was having a good time. Yes, he danced and laughed and did the usual doctor-ish things he did. But deep down inside there was a bruise on his old two hearts.<p>

_Amelia Pond.. _

As if on some silent cue, the glass doors gave a soft click as she closed them behind her, and before she even reached him he knew it was her.  
>"Hey there," she said quietly, her accent heavier than usual, probably due to the free champagne and heavy cardio dance routines.<br>"You doing okay?"  
>The Doctor so badly wanted to spin around, tell her he was perfectly fine, congratulate her and let her walk away, like she always did. But this time he didn't want to lie, he didn't want the words to turn to ash in his mouth like they always did. Again, maybe it was the alcohol or the exhaustion, but he stayed put.<p>

"Doctor..?" Amy asked, slight concern leaking into her tone. He was quiet, he was never quiet. It was bad when he was quiet.  
>But all he could sum up was a simple grunt as he traced his fingers on the cool stone of the railing. He heard her walking towards him, and distantly registered the scent of her hair as she sat up and settled herself beside him.<br>"Hey, what's up?" The ginger gave a small, reassuring smile.  
>He just couldn't help but smile back. God, her eyes sparkled in the moonlight. Her cheeks were pink and lifted with her upturned lips, her dark eyelashes brushing her skin and her hair curled exquisitely down her back.<br>"Nothing," The Doctor said with a false smile as a small ache gathered in his gut. "Run along, Pond."  
>"No, you're lying. That's your lying face." She said with a smirk.<br>He smirked back, genuinely. "The Doctor never lies."  
>"Ah but that was a lie too. Now, tell me, what's wrong sourpuss?"<br>He laughed and turned his eyes up to the sky, his face turned white by the moon.  
>"You humans don't know when to stop do you." he mumbled. "To the moon and back again, one day you will touch every star in the sky until the universe breathes no more."<br>Amy sighed. "Quit the long introduction and cut to the chase; I asked you a question."  
>The Doctor rolled his eyes. "And my answer remains the same, nothing! Now run along, I'm sure The Roman's out there looking for you."<br>"Oh he can wait five minutes."  
>"Obviously; but he waited about two thousand years so you might as well go and spend some time with him."<br>"Well two thousand years waiting for me still doesn't compare to the hours I spent waiting for you in my garden." she chuckled.  
>The Doctor tried to push the prick of guilt away.<br>Suddenly he felt determined to make her happy. After all, it was her wedding. Arguably the most important day in her life. And he was ruining it, like he ruined her childhood...  
>"No more ruining things!" he exclaimed happily, pushing up from the railing and on his feet. "Now Pond, come dance with me!"<br>Amy laughed and groaned. "Oh god Doctor, more dancing? So much dancing!"  
>"Ah but this is a dance with the devil in the pale moonlight! No ordinary dance, Amelia. Now, if you would grant me the pleasure.." he bowed deeply to her and heard her giggle as she hopped down onto the ground.<br>"Oh fine, anything for a devil."  
>He winked mischeviously and took her by the hand, pulling her into a simple waltz. She was already struggling to keep up as it was, but then he added in the extra twirls and spins and soon she was on the floor laughing.<br>"You can't seriously expect me to do that! Not in these shoes!" she motioned to her stiletto heels.  
>"Then take them off!"<br>"..Do you have any idea how expensive these are?"  
>"They're safer on the floor than on your feet. Off, off! More dancing!"<br>Amy shook her head in exasperation and took off her shoes, placing them to the side like a kid lining up for a go on the bouncy castle. Her sore feet were relieved by the cool tiles, and she took his hands again and let him lead her into the dance.  
>"Just let go, follow me." he advised as she tensed during another quick spin.<br>"But now it's a barefoot non-consentual dance with the devil in the pale moonlight!"  
>"Tough, all in the job description?"<br>"Pfft, where?"  
>"Fine print, Pond."<br>The Doctor spun her around, her white dress twirling and glittering and her red hair spraying out like mist behind her. He spun her back in, and almost by accident ended up having her too close to him than expected. He pulled her into a hug and felt her sigh as he rested his chin on her head.  
>"Oh Amy, what am I going to do with you?"<br>She shrugged and looked up, not expecting his face to be so close.  
>His eyes were full of an emotion that was caught somewhere between concern and longing, and a little something else that she couldn't place.. It baffled her.<br>"What are you thinking?" she mumbled.  
>There was a brief pause and he opened his mouth a few times, searching for the right words, trying to speak, but he was honestly blank. There were no words in any language that could describe what was running through his mind, and the emotions that had seized his two hearts.<p>

Without meaning to, or honestly knowing why, all of a sudden he kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

Silence. Blissful silence enveloping them into a secret moment. It was as if they were the only two people in the world, and everything around them faded to black.

Or at least, that's how it should've been.

The kiss lasted barely a second, before Amy pulled back suddenly, her eyes wide like a rabbit in the headlights. Her bottom lip quivered slightly and she bit it gingerly, if you'll pardon the pun. The Doctor searched her face for emotion as he again fought to find the right words.  
>"Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry." he blurted out all at once. His fingers reached up to his mouth and he touched it gently in disbelief.<br>"I can't believe I did that, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"  
>Still nothing. She seemed almost completely blank.<p>

Then all of a sudden, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him fiercely, running her hands through his hair and tasting him. The Doctor closed his eyes and felt himself relax, letting himself enjoy the moment and push the teeming thoughts out of his mind. He had one arm wrapped securely around her hips, which he used to pull her closer, as the fingertips of his other hand lingered at the nape of her neck.  
>She tasted like peppermint and something else he couldn't quite place. He remembered it vividly from the last time they kissed in Amy's bedroom.. so long ago, it still felt like yesterday.<p>

Well, technically, it was yesterday. Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.

Unwillingly, The Doctor at last broke the kiss and pulled back, stroking the back of her head and looking deep into her eyes. She gazed back, dizzy with shock, blinking slowly.  
>"Doctor.. What just happened?"<br>He paused.  
>"I'm, I'm not entirely sure. But let's make sure it never happens again, okay?"<br>Amy felt a pang of regret. She had rather enjoyed that, and didn't want it to be the last. She'd wanted another kiss ever since last time, and still she was left unsatisfied and hungry for more.  
>Unwillingly and with a sigh, she nodded and looked down.<br>More pausing. An awkward silence settled itself over the pair as they both shifted from foot to foot and tried to avoid eye contact, the taste of eachother still fresh on their lips and it was as if their kiss was like a suffocating smoke hanging in the air between them, and all at once it became hard to breathe.  
>"Uh, I should probably, yknow, go. Still lots of..party to be..had" she stuttered as she collected her shoes and made for the door.<br>"Yes, yes of course. Bye bye Pond."

He watched her go with damp eyes as she closed the glass behind her and walked quickly onto the dancefloor, sinking into the thick crowd until she was completely out of sight.  
>The Doctor released the breath he had been holding, blinking back pointless tears.<p>

_Doctor, you're being such a child_

But regardless, the pain was still there. But why? Why be sad? Everything was perfectly fine, wasn't it? He had no explanation for the longing that settled within him and the shadows cast over his hearts, and he refused to think.. No, it couldn't be.

He didn't have any feelings for Amy. Not like that, at least..

Shaking his head as if to rid himself of his thoughts, he decided that he'd had enough and walked back onto the hot dancefloor. The music was too loud and the hall was too crowded, children crying, people shouting, laughter. It was overwhelming. The scent of alcohol hit him and he wrinkled his nose at it, only having had some earlier out of politeness.  
>Too many people in one place, and too much Amy here. He wanted to say goodbye, but didn't trust himself to not screw it up somehow, so he pushed past everyone and left.<p>

* * *

><p>The TARDIS hummed all around The Doctor as he went about his business, shutting off most of the lights to let her 'sleep', in a sense. He had a great affection for his machine, and ever since he stole it he'd promised himself that he'd take care of it. He loved it like a sister. Or maybe not, no, too intimate to be considered siblings. The TARDIS was his constant companion, the only fixed point in his world of chaos and change. New face, new man, new friends on board, but always the same soul in the TARDIS.<br>He stroked a piece of equipment and smiled to himself. How nice it is to have a companion, how nice it is to have a friend. If only..  
>His imagination carried him to see images behind his eyes, ones of him and Amy in the TARDIS, travelling everywhere. Taking her to see the unveiling of the Statue of Libetry, or ice-skating in Paris. Anywhere and everywhere, and not just Earth. To see her face as she first sees the relics of the underground city of the Land of the Wind, or to show her the Small Solar System before ravaged by disrespect, in the height of architecture and bio-engineering..<p>

Him and his Amelia Pond.

The Doctor secretly longed for that life. He was greedy, having the world at his feet had never been enough. The pleasure of knowing her wasn't enough either - he wanted her all to himself. He was close to Rory, and he was a really genuinely good person.. But that didn't dilute his passion one bit. The passion for Amy, the passion he could show her.

His train of thought was broken as the TARDIS finally powered down, leaving only the dim emergency lights on to guide him to his room. Time for bed.  
>He had to admit he was exhautsed. So much drama and dancing and.. Oh, probably loads of things starting with D.<br>The Doctor looked back and smiled at his machine, before walking down the hall to his room to ponder his night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **_Hey you guys, thanks for all the nice reviews etc, means alot. This is one of then first times I've been motivated enough to bring a story into the third chapter, so thanks so much for all the support! Review and don't be afraid to drop me a message, I don't bite x_

Rory had to put Amy down for a moment, fiddling with the keys and grumbling as he unlocked the door of Amy's house, opening the door and turning to her with a small smile.  
>"I've always wanted to do this," he admitted quietly. "Never thought it would actually ever happen."<br>Amy laughed and smiled at him. "Well it's happening, so hurry up! It's cold out here!"  
>Rory grinned toothily and picked her up, struggling slightly, before carrying her inside. He attempted to put her down in the corridor, but she cried out shrilly.<br>"No! No!"  
>"What what what?" he said quickly, alarmed at her outburst.<br>"You don't do it like that, you have to carry me all the way there."  
>Rory rolled his eyes. "Amy, there are stairs!"<br>"I don't care." she mumbled back stubbornly. "We're doing this properly!"  
>The roman rolled his eyes and sighed, before reluctantly embarking up the stairs with a delighted Amy in his arms. Amy wasn't heavy, but she wasn't exactly light either, and Rory wasn't cut out for this kind of work. Maybe this wasn't as great as he dreamed it would be.<br>Puffing at the end of the stairs, he almost sprinted to the bedroom and practically tossed her onto the bed, where she fell in a giggling mass of white lace and red curls.  
>"That was fun, can we get married again?"<br>"Oh shut up you." He silenced her with a sharp kiss, and pulled back to look in her eyes and smile.  
>"I'm going to go and freshen up for a moment, you stay right there." He gave a sly wink and Amy grinned back cheekily. He walked out into the en suite bathroom and closed the door.<br>Amy sat up in the bed and took off her tiara, laying it on the bedside table and sitting cross legged inbetwixt the pillows. She sighed slowly, touching her lips softly. Fire raged through them, fire and memories and longing.

But for the wrong man.

Ever since she was a child she had dreamt of her wedding day, as all little girls do. She knew what dress she wanted, where she wanted it to be, all down to what theme the tablecloths would follow.  
>But never had she dreamt of it with Rory.<p>

It was always.. him.

He would fall out of the sky in his box and walk in, her raggedy Doctor.. He would sweep her up in his arms and take her away to fantastic places and they would go honeymoon on Mars or some other planet. He would meet her parents and father her children and grow old with her...  
>Alas.<br>That was never to be. The Doctor would never see her in that light, regardless of the moment they shared earlier. She was still trying to wrap her head around it, but found no explanation. She desperately wanted to ask him, but she had trouble simply looking him in the eye, let alone bringing that up.

Interuppting her thoughts, Rory re-entered the bedroom nervously, dressed in his singlet and boxers alone.  
>"Uhh.." he breathed, upon seeing that she was still fully dressed. "I'm sorry, I assumed we were.. yknow."<br>"Oh!" Amy gasped. "Yeah, yeah of course. Sorry.. Long day."  
>Amy hurriedly started to undo her dress, but had a little trouble on the zipper that lay across her spine. Rory saw her struggle, and walked over very close to her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her skin. His lips pressed against her shoulder and she closed her eyes as he unzipped her dress, helping her out of the restrictive fabric and eagerly but cautiously edging his mouth down her back.<br>Pleasure raced in her heart and pulsed in her veins, and she titled her head back to bask in it, secretly imagining that it was someone else, that it was him..

She tried to push away guilt and took the reigns from Rory, beginning their marriage.

* * *

><p>Banging all around. The sound invaded the Doctor's dreams and he groaned in his bed, shifting onto his side and pulling the covers over his head. He had been having such a nice dream..<br>His head throbbed with a light hangover and with a sickening realisation he remembered the events that occured the previous night.

She was married.

His Time Lord instincts told him it was before dawn, probably around 4:30am or so, far too early, too early indeed.  
>The knocking came again, but this time it was closer, at his bedroom door.<br>"Go away!" he shouted sulkily, burying himself deeper into the mattress and trying to escape reality, too tired to be alarmed at the fact that there was an intruder in his TARDIS.  
>Well, bad guys never knocked, did they?<br>Just as he was thinking this, the door was pushed open roughly, and he sensed footsteps across the floor, and the scraping of a chair being pulled out from under his desk.  
>Cautiously he emerged from his den of blankets, and his jaw dropped as he saw who was standing before him.<p>

"God, Amelia, do you know how early it is?" he muttered groggily, wiping the sleep from his eyes and stifling a yawn.  
>"Yeah, I know, I know. I just.." she bit her lip and looked at the ground. "I just needed to talk to you."<br>"Couldn't it have waited another few hours or so?"  
>"I don't know, maybe."<br>The Doctor sighed and got up, the blankets falling off to reveal that was fully dressed, suspenders and all. Amy raised an eyebrow at him.  
>"You sleep in your clothes?"<br>"Course I do, don't you?"  
>She laughed and shook her head. Her raggedy Doctor.<br>"Come on," he said, pushing up from the bed with a new energy. "Let's go make some tea."

* * *

><p>Amy had never seen the kitchen before, or at least, not this one. She had no idea how many rooms there were in the TARDIS, she didn't even think that the Doctor knew. It had high ceilings and walls to match the circles in the main console room, and the counter-tops were all blue with green stripes.<br>There were about twelve different taps along a huge trough-like sink of all different kinds of things, including tea, ginger ale, lemonade and one simply marked '?'. Along the counter were other strange appliances that she couldn't begin to describe.  
>The Doctor got two transparent mugs from a drawer and filled them up with tea, then moving to the normal-ish-looking fridge, which she noticed had pictures of his other companions on it, including the likes of Rose and Sarah Jane, and herself.<br>"God, that's an awful photo of me." she grumbled, motioning towards it. "Couldn't you have chosen a better one?"  
>The Doctor grinned as he poured the milk into the mugs. "I believe you look enchanting, dear Amelia. How many sugars?"<br>"Two.." she smiled softly, not being able to help the blush that rose to her cheeks.

They sat down at the table with their tea, the Doctor putting a few jammy dodgers on a plate between them, before turning to look her in the eye.  
>"Now," he said, blowing the steam from his tea and taking a sip. "What did you want?"<p> 


End file.
